The Legend of Kyrandia II Tips & Tricks |
Tags: The Legend of Kyrandia II Game Guides, The Legend of Kyrandia II Hints, The Legend of Kyrandia II Walkthrough |
The Legend of Kyrandia II
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COMPLETE WALKTROUGH FOR FABLES AND FIENDS BOOK TWO - THE HAND OF FATE
Version 1.00 - By Tricky
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Index: |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Introduction to this FAQ and the game ........................... IDX01
Kyrandia Mainland ............................................... IDX02
Morningmist ..................................................... IDX03
Volcania ........................................................ IDX04
Enchanted Forest ................................................ IDX05
Ice mountains ................................................... IDX06
The wheels of Fate .............................................. IDX07
Copyrights and permissions ...................................... IDX08
Contacting me ................................................... IDX09
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Introduction to this FAQ and the game | IDX01 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Kyrandia is one of the good old adventure games of long lost times.
If you wonder how to get this game, I cannot help you, I still got my copy from
times this was still in store. I'm sure there are sites you can download it
from, but since I cannot support software piracy, I cannot give you links.
If you can give me sites on which this game can be bought/downloaded from
WITHOUT VIOLATING COPYRIGHTS mail me, and I'll add those to this FAQ.
Also note that since this game is old you may NOT be able to play it on modern
machines. You may need an emulator to play it.
One of the best out there is DOSBox.
Download it from: http://dosbox.sourceforge.net/
Well, the story is easy. Malcolm an evil jester has broken out of jail and
gathered all the powers in the land of Kyrandia and is siezing the crown.
You are Brandon and your mission is easy. Defeat Malcolm.
Of course, that's easier said than done.
I recommand only to use this FAQ when you are stuck, or else this game will be
no challenge at all. If you are stuck look at the index on what you are doing
and look at the IDX code. Open a search window (Ctrl-F in Windows and Linux and
Apple-F in MacOS).
There are a few things you should know though.
- All items you pick up can be dropped anywhere you want. Please note that in
most cases you can come back for those items. Never drop the alchemist Magnet.
You need that item in all sections. The other items can be dropped safely as
you can always come back for them. Each time you come into a new section
you'll lose your entire inventory anyway, you can only keep the alchemist
magnet.
- There are jewels everywhere across Kyrandia. They appear at random so I cannot
tell you where to look for those. Only a few specific ones can be found at
fixed places. You can do well, in collecting those, but since you can only
carry 10 items, you may want to store them all in one location as long as the
game allows it. There are only two tasks in which these jewels have value
- This game has a dozen of areas or "rooms" as we call them in adventure
programming terms. Each time you get into a new room I start with "-" and the
name of the room, so you can check if you are in the right room.
Well, that's all folks...
Let's get started on this
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Kyrandia Mainland | IDX02 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Well, you know the situation. Kyrandia is slowly disappearing.
Zanthia is chosen to retrieve an Anchor Stone in order to save Kyrandia.
So you start as Zanthia in the Laboratory.
Good luck
-Inside Zanthia's Laboratory
Pick up the blue berry
Pick up the flash out of the cabinet
Leave
- Outside Zanthia's Laboratory
Exit north
- Dock
Exit west
- Weed Patch
Examine the stump in the southeast to find your stolen spellbook
Exit north
- Gnarlwood Tree
Get a gnarlybark by snapping it of the branche sticking out of the path
Exit north
- Ferry
Exit east
- Natural Bridge
Exit east
- Cavern Entrance
Pick up an Onion and exit west
- Natural Bridge
Exit west
- Ferry
Exit west
- Dark swamp
Get a feather out of the bird's nest
Exit north
- Outside Herb's Shack
Fill your flask with swamp water and use it on the fireberries.
Pick up a fireberry
Enter Herb's house
- Inside Herb's Shack
Pick up the empty stool
Pick up the bag of plant food
Pick up the flask from Herb's desk
Leave this hut
- Outside Herb's shack
Exit south
- Dark Swamp
Exit south
- Quicksand Bog
Don't try to cross the quicksand. You'll die
Push the tree
Now you can cross over the tree.
Pick up the key from the skeleton hand
- Lagoon
A crocodile will appear. Examining it two times will make you die.
Tickle it with the feather and it will cry
Pick up its tears with a flask
Examine the hole in the tree to find your cauldron
Exit north through the left ext
- Hot Sulphur springs
Pick up the sulphur at the end of the road
Fill a flask with Hot water and it's time to mix a potion:
* SWAMPSNAKE POTION
Put the next items in your cauldron
= Furniture
= Onion
= Reptile Tears
= Gnarlybark
= Sulphur
= Hot Water
Fill a flask with tyour new potion and exit south
Exit south
- Lagoon
Exit north by the right exit
- Quicksand Bog
Exit east
- Dark Swamp
Exit east
- Ferry
Exit east
- Natural Bridge
Exit East
- Cave Entrance
Exit south
- Firefly Tree
Get yourself a notebook, and something that writes.
When you give them a blueberry they will show you a color pattern.
Write that down, you need that color pattern later.
After getting that code, exit north
- Cave Entrance
Exit east
- Twisty Tunnel
Go east and the mouse will stop you and refuse to let you pass.
Use the snakeswap potion on him and he'll flee.
- Dark Cavern
When you click on the teeth of the giant skull you see they got the same
colors as the fruitflies
The colors I got on the teeth are
Green Purple ----- Orange
Cyan Red Yellow Blue
Now make the same color pattern on those teeth as the fireflies showed you.
The mouth will open and a chest will be revealed
Use the Skeleton's Key to open the chest
Get an alchemist magnet and a piece of cheese out here
Exit west
- Twisty Tunnel
Exit west
- Cavern Entrance
Exit west
- Natural Bridge
Give the cheese to the fishermen
Exit west
- Ferry
Exit south
- Gnarlwood Tree
Exit south
- Weed Patch
You'll find Marko in a messy situation (that guy is messy after all).
Help him by using the plant food on the plant
Exit east
- Dock
Pick up the anchor of the boat and exit south
- Outside Zanthia's Laboratory
Pick up the letter from the roof and exit north
- Dock
Exit weest
- Weed Patch
Exit north
- Gnarlwood tree
Exit north
- Ferry
Oops.... The ferry is gone. Exit east
- Natural Bridge
Exit east
- Cave Entrance
Exit south
- Firefly Tree
Pick up the letter and exit north
- Cave Entrance
Exit west
- Natural Bridge
Exit west
- Ferry
Exit west
- Dark Swamp
Exit south
- Quicksand Bog
Pick up the ladder from the hand
Exit west
- Lagoon
Exit north (left exit)
- Hot sulphur springs
Pick up the letter and exit south
- Lagoon
Take the exit on the right
- Quicksand bog
Exit east
- Dark Swamp
Exit east
- Ferry
Give the four letters to the fairy dragon to advace to the next part of
the game.
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Morningmist | IDX03 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
- Meadow
Search the haystack to find a flask
Pick up a weath
Exit south
- Outside Farmhouse
The man is Farmer Greenberry. Give him the letter.
Exit north
- Meadow
Capture the ghost in your flask and exit south
- Outside Farmhouse
Exit east
- Garden
Pick up the the Alchemist Magnet
Use the ghost on the scarescrow. It will come alive and leave.
Exit west
- Outside Farmhouse
The scarescrow will appear and Farmer Greenberry will go after it and never
return. Now the way to the cellar is open.
Go in there
- Inside Cellar
Pick up two horseshoes (of which one of them have the ends up).
Pick up the scissors
Leave the cellar
- Outside Farmhouse
Exit west
- Water wheel
Remove the stick ouf of the gears
Open the valve
Use a horseshoe on the eletricity you see (not one with the ends up unless you
got two of those).
Exit east
- Outside Farmhouse
Exit north
- Meadow
Use the flask on the sheep to milk it
Exit south
- Outside Farmhouse
Enter the cellar
- Inside Cellar
Use the sheepmilk on the strange machine
Pull the handle of the strange machine and some cheese will come out
Pick up the cheese and get out of here
- Outside Farmhouse
Get the flask of Vinegar from the shelf
Remove the bowl from the dragon and it will cry.
You can get the tears with a flash, but don't do so yet.
(you won't need it yet, and you need the flask for something else)
Exit east
- Garden
Get the trunk for the elephant to water the garden
Pick up some lettuce and raddish from it
Exit west
- Outside Farmhouse
Exit west
- Water Wheel
* SANDWITCH POTION
= Put the raddish in the grinder
= Scoop the raddish out with the bowl
= Use the vinegar on the ground raddish to get Mustard
= Put the mustard in your cauldron
= Put the grain stalks into the grinder
= Scoop it up with the bowl
= Put the grain in the cauldron
= Put the lettuce in the cauldron
= Put the cheese in the cauldron
Fill a flask with the potion
Use the flask on yourself to get a sandwich.
Put the sandwich in your inventory and don't forget to take the flask with
you.
Exit east
- Outside Farmhouse
Exit north
- Meadow
Exit east
- Outside city gate
The guards will refuse to let you in.
Give the sandwitch to them and those suckers will fight over the sandwitch
Forgetting about you. Now you can enter.
- Inside City Gate
Get the stick out of the fountain
Exit north
- Alley
The pole beside the door has the firefly colors.
Cyan
Green Yellow
Red
Orange Purple
Blue
Open the door by using the color pattern the fruitflies gave you.
Enter the tavern
- Inside the Drunk Dragon Inn
Get a mug from the table
Fill it with beer from the barrel.
Try to leave and you'll be stopped because it's pirate poetry night.
A pirate will recite a poem.
Well, let's recite a poen ourselves.
Now leave the tavern
- Alley
Enter the tavern again
- Inside the Drunk Dragon Inn
A pirate fight.... Ah....
Stand left of the pirates. Distract them twice and a gold tooth will be
slammmed out of the pirate's mouth. Turn it to lead with the alchemist
magnet and pick it up.
Now go to the Water Wheel, smash the tooth, turn to to gold, return
to this tavern, and repeat this sequence until you got 3 gold coins.
Then go to the farm.
- Outside the farmhouse
Give the dragon his bowl back and be mean and remove it.
It'll cry. Take its tears with the flask.
Exit north
- Meadow
Exit east
- Outside City Gate
Exit east
- Inside the city gate
Exit east
- Street
Pick up the two left items (parchment & flask)
Put the parchment in your spellbook to get two recipes.
Trance Potion (which you don't need and can't make)
And a Teddy Bear Potion (which you need later).
Take the northern exit east
- Gorge
Take some mud and use it on the rabbit foot
Exit east
- Gorge
Use the stick to get the rope (if you try it without the stick you'll die).
Exit east
- Altar of Doubt
Time to mix a potion
* SKEPTIC POTION
= Put some beer in the bowl
= Mix it with Vinegar to create sweet & saur sauce
= Put the sweet and sour sauce in the cauldron
= Put a horseshoe with the ends up in the cauldron
= Put the reptile tears in the cauldron
= Put the mud footprint in the cauldron
= Fill two flasks with this half potion
= Put both flasks on the altar and you got two servings of skeptic
potion
You need one more serving, but you got both flasks filled. We'll come back
to that later. so DON'T FLUSH THE CAULDRON YET!!!
Exit west
- Gorge
Jump over using the stick and exit west
- Gorge
Exit west
- Street
Use the skeptic potion on the guy in front of the door
Use the magnet on the water to find a key (don't forget to take your magnet
you're gonna need it to get in the next section)
Enter the fishlike building
- Jail
= Try to free Marko and the sheriff will lock you up
= Use the magnet on the key and the sheriff will throw it out of the window
= Click on the cloth back in the cell twice and Zanthia will pull it to
threads. Marko will give you a hook.
= Use the hook andd thread on the window to receive the key
= Open your cell with the key
= Now free Marko
= Exit the jail
- Street
Take the northern exit exit
- Gorge
Exit east
- Gorge
Jump over with the stick and exit east
- Altar of Doubt
Fill another flask with the potion and activate it on the altar.
Exit west
- Gorge
Move over the gorge with the stick and exit west
- Gorge
Exit west
- Street
Exit west
- Inside the City Gate
Enter the hut
- Store
Use the skeptic potion on the clerk.
Give him your 3 gold coins and you'll receive a voucher
Exit south
- Inside the City Gate
Exit east
- Street
Exit east with the southern exit
- Wharf
Use a skeptic potion on the captain
Show your voucher to the captian
- Sailing
Put your magnet between the rope beside the steering wheel
The ship will get out of control and come near volcania.
The ship's men will get angry at you and throw you overboard.
You'll Wash up at Volcania
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Volcania | IDX04 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
You'll lose all your stuff, except for your alchemist magnet
What you need to know is to avoid standing in the lava.
You only hold out a few seconds before you burn too death.
- Beach
Exit west
- Beach
Pick up the stick and the heavy rock
Exit east
- Beach
Exit east
- Beach
Exit east
- Beach
Ignore the old couple.
Pick up the flask and the heavy rock and exit west
- Beach
Exit west
- Beach
Jump into the vent to go down
- Lava Cavern
Pick up the heavy rock and put it on the vent
Exit west
- Lava Cavern
Get the flask
Get the heavy rock and put it on the vent
Exit east
- Lava Cavern
Exit east over the bridge
- Lava Cavern
Pick up the stick
Pick up the heavy rock
Exit north
- Lava Cavern
The dinosaur down there, acts like a dog. Use the stick on it twice.
Pick up the piece of lead and turn it to gold with the alchemist magnet.
Stand in the air vent to get some pebbles
Pick up the heavy rock and put it on the lava vent
Exit south
- Lava cavern
Get some crystal fuss out of the palm and we can mix another potion
* TEDDY BEAR
Put the next things in the cauldron
= Crystal Fuzz
= Lump of gold (shaped like heart)
= Teddybear eyes
Fill the flash and open it to get the teddy bear
Now jump on the back of the dinosaur (and Zantia will automaticly use the
teddy bear).
- Lava Cavern
Put thorn cloth in your inventory and exit west
- Lava Cavern
When the dinosaur is pointed at the door you can use the red cloth to let
it open the door (if not, leave this place and come back, when it's not
pointed at the door you'll die if you try, so save your game if you are not
sure).
- Chamber of the Anchor.
You can get an anchor stone, but as you'll soon learn, you've been fooled
and the Anchor Stones are worthless.
Pick up the parchment and put in in your spellbook.
Contains two recipes (Party Favors Potion, Play room spell), the last one
is worthless by the way.
Put your rock on the vent and leave this place
- Lava Cavern
Stand on the big vent.
Enjoy your flight.... :)
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Enchanted Forest | IDX05 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Once more all your items are gone. (This is getting frustrating isn't it).
- Petrified forest
Check out the hole you created in your fall to find a flask
Pick up the pinecone
Exit west
- Bridge
Get the moss of the rock and it will start to roll
Pick it up. It's a rolling stone.
Pick up the twigs
Exit east
- Petrified forest
Put the twigs against the large flint
Use the rolling stone on it.
Put the rolling stone back in your inventory and pick up the charcoal.
Exit west
- Bridge
Pick up some snow
Potion time
* SNOWMAN POTION
Put in the next things in your cauldron
= Snowball
= Charcoal
= Moss
Fill a flask and use it on the ghost knight (He'll leave)
Exit west
- Grassy Meadow
Turn the statue to gold with the alchemist magnet
Check out the chest that appears to get a magic drum and a jack.
Use the jack on the foot you see running around.
The man who were chasing foot will explain a thing or two about the
wizard Bal-Rom. And that will explain something important about the Hand.
You now know what it is.
Pick up the acorn next to the statue
Exit east
- Bridge
Check out the small tower to find a wallnut
Exit east
- Petrified Forest
Put the magic drums on the stump and the trees wil dance giving you passage
- Tram Station
Try the tram and the squirrel running it will stop moving it because of
"Long Lunch Day". Give him the wallnut, the acorn and the pinecone and he'll
leave.
Put the rolling stone in the big wheel
Ride the tram to go to the next section
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Ice Mountains | IDX06 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
- Tram Station
Take the duster from the tram station
Enter the hut
- Hunter's Lodge
Get the flask from the shelf
Examine the cow's hand to get yourself some musk
Pick up a cannon ball
Turn it to gold with the alchemist magnet and leave the lodge
- Tram Station
Give the gold cannonball to the woman and she'll abandon her child
Get the lollipop from the child.
Get a snowball out of the snow and it's Potion time
* ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN POTION
= Snow
= Musk
= The lollipop
= the duster
Fill a flash with this stuff and drink it.
After that enter the lodge
- Hunter's Lodge
The men will not fall for you snowman trick, but the real abominable snowman
does and will kidnap you.
- Yeti's pad
Pick up the candy
Pick up the cologne from the bar
Pick up the feathers form the pillow
Exit the cave
- Ice Cavern
Pick up an icicle and we create another potion
* ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN POTION
= Icicle
= Cologne
= Candy
= Featheres
Enter the cave again
- Yeti's pad
Get a flask from the shelf form behind the Yeti and fill it with the potion
Exit the pad
- Ice Cavern
The two hunters should be coming. If not then exit this screen and come back
(It can help to snap off two icicles and try to escape. The yeti will get
you back, but when you come back the hunters should come).
Use the abominable snowman potion on the hunters.
Now the Yeti is no longer interested in you.
Use the icicles to get up and exit east
- Small Cabin
Enter the house
- Mistic's Cabin
Use the ingredients in the closet to mix the next potions and put them in
the orbs in the plant. You can dispose any items you no longer need in the
trashcan. When you created a potion a filled a flask, I suggest you flush the
cauldron when you get on the next potion.
Here goes (1 = left orb, 7 = right orb)
* Flying shoes - In orb 1 on the "machine"
= Hot air
= Feathers
= Leather folio (red)
* Sandwitch Potion - In orb 2 on the "machine"
= Mustard (ground raddish and vinegar, remember)
= Ground wheat
= Lettucce
= Cheese
* Abominable Snowman - In orb 3 on the "machine"
= Snowball / Icicle
= Musk
= Feathers
= Lollipop
* Swampsnake Potion - In Orb 4 on the "machine"
= Gnarlybark
= Sulphur
= Onion
= Reptile Tears
= Stool (furniture)
= Hot water
* Teddy bear Potion - in orb 5 of the "machine"
= Crystal Fuzz
= Lumb of gold shaped like heart (alchemist magnet needed)
= Pebbles (teddy bear eyes)
* Indigo Potion - In orb 6 of the "machine" (not in your spellbook)
= Blueberry
= Amethist
* Skeptic Potion - Orb 7 of the "machine" (you don't need the altar of
doubt this time)
= Horseshoe (with ends up)
= Taffy footprint
= Sweet and sour sauce (you don't to mix, it's in the cabinet)
= Reptile Tears
When you created all potions and put them in the respective orbs, a rainbow
will appear. Get out of the house
- Small Cabin
Pick an icicle from the house and climb up the house with it.
- Rainbow bridge
You'll have an automated fight with the Hand.
After that exit east and then exit south and you'll reach the final section.
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| The Wheels of Fate | IDX07 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
- The Wheels of Fate
Turn the dish into lead to stop the hot beam
Then exit north through the doors
- The Wheels of Fate
Take the stairs to the right
- The Enverted Towers of Anoi
This game sucks. You gotta remove disc from the faces and place them in the
appriate faces. You know what to do... Let's get started.
(1 = right, 2 = center, 3 = left)
= 1 to 2
= 1 to 3
= 2 to 3
= 1 to 2
= 3 to 1
= 2 to 2
= 1 to 2
= 1 to 3 (grey)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 2 to 1 (dark gray)
= 3 to 1 (brown)
= 2 to 3 (blue)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 1 to 3 (Dark gray)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 1 to 2 (Yellow)
= 3 to 1 (Brown)
= 3 to 2 (Dark Gray)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 3 to 1 (blue)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 2 to 1 (Dark Gray)
= 3 to 1 (Brown)
= 3 to 2 (Light gray)
= 1 to 2 (Brown)
= 1 to 3 (Dark Gray)
= 2 to 3 (Brown)
= 1 to 2 (blue)
= 3 to 1 (brown)
= 3 to 2 (dark gray)
= 1 to 2 (Brown)
You'll get a gear. Alas you need more than a gear, so we gotta get head 3
open as well. (I hate that as much as you do).
= 2 to 3 (Brown)
= 2 to 1 (Dark Gray)
= 3 to 1 (brown)
= 2 to 3 (blue)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 2 to 3 (dark grey)
= 1 to 3 (brown)
= 2 to 1 (dark grey)
= 3 to 1 (Brown)
= 3 to 2 (dark grey)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 3 to 1 (blue)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 2 to 1 (dark grey)
= 3 to 1 (brown)
= 2 to 3 (yellow)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 1 to 3 (dark grey)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 1 to 2 (blue)
= 3 to 1 (Brown)
= 3 to 2 (Gray)
= 1 to 2 (Brown)
= 1 to 3 (light gray)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
= 2 to 1 (dark gray)
= 3 to 1 (brown)
= 2 to 3 (blue)
= 1 to 2 (brown)
= 1 to 3 (dark gray)
= 2 to 3 (brown)
You'll get a stick.
When you got the sick and the gear, leave here.
- The Wheels of Fate
Take the left stairs up
- The Wheels of Fate
BEFORE YOU START! THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE TO SAVE.
Put the gear in the machine
Then use the stick to get them going.
Then the Hand will come to battle it out. Don't wait too long and click on
the things I say or the hand will kill you. (Don't even try options)
= Jump on the machine
= Charge on the hand
= Change on the hand again
This ends the game.
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Copyrights and permissions | IDX08 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This FAQ has been copyrighted by Jeroen Broks aka Tricky, formely known as
Tricrokra. This FAQ may be viewed, downloaded and printed for personal use
only. It may not be sold, or used as a basis for commercial work. This FAQ
may also not be modified. Parts of it may not be copied to your own FAQs
without my permission.
This FAQ is NOT officially authorized by Westwood Studios or any
other party that is related to Fables and Fiends / Kyrandia
If you want to host this FAQ, it's allowed, if you ask my permission first,
permission will be granted assuming that the FAQ stays in this form
unmodified, that users can view it FREE OF CHARGE, and that pop-ups have been
added to the page that views this FAQ.
Sites with permission to host this FAQ:
---------------------------------------
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Supercheats http://www.supercheats.com
Sites banned from hosting this FAQ:
-----------------------------------
Neoseeker http://www.neoseeker.com
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Cantacting me | IDX09 |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Before contacting me, please read carefully.
If you want me to answer questions about the game itself please visit this
site:
http://www.tbbs.nl/QuestionGen.php4
That is my Q&A site where I (or others) will answer all your game questions.
If you do, please check if the question you want to ask hasn't been asked
before. :)
If you want to inquire about me as a person, or when you have anything to
say about the FAQ itself, like asking permission to host, got suggestions
for this FAQ, something like that please mail it to
tric1975@hotmail.com
AND PUT [Tric-FAQ] IN THE SUBJECT OR ELSE MY SPAMFILTER MAY
REJECT YOU!
If you see that I missed things in this FAQ, then in stead of calling me
names, you may tip me about that part, or if you want even come up with
a complete workout of that part, that I will copy into this FAQ (I may alter
your lay-out to make it fit with the rest) and even credit you for your
trouble. This also goes for alternate boss techniques.
AND NEVER FORGET TO TELL ME WHICH FAQ OF MINE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
I get a lot of mails in which I must guess which FAQ it is we're talking
about, and since I'm very busy as a contributor for GameFAQs, and ocasionally
other sites, I have quite a lot of FAQs here. So it will help me a lot when
I know which FAQ/Game it is you're talking about. :)
And one last thing. Below are remarks I got a lot about my FAQs. Some are
funny, and some are just plainly too stupid for words. I don't want to be
an arrogant bastard or anything, but some of them tire me a lot.
So here are those mails with my standard replies:
M: Fix your English
A: Some people say they hardly hear the diffrence between me and an
English speaking fellow. Others say it sucks. Well, I honestly don't
care in which category you are. English is NOT my first language. If
I spoke my own language you probably couldn't read my FAQs at all.
M: HEY IDIOT! FIX YOUR FAQ!
A: Anyone who sends mail like this won't receive a reply. In fact they
will be banned from ever mailing me again. I can understand you do not
agree with my technique. There are as many as there are people. I can
also agree you detected that I made a mistake. Well, I'm human you know.
Making mistakes is part of my nature, as much as it's yours. If you
detect errors in my FAQ you can tell me about it in a civil way, and
I'll fix it if I agree with you.
M: Are you a man? A woman? How old are you? Where do you live?
A: I really got that kind of mails a lot. I don't mind that you know.
I was quite amused by such mails actually.
Well, my name is Jeroen Broks. I'm not going to give my private adres
in this FAQ or anywhere else on the internet, but you may know that
I live in the Netherlands, I am a man, and I was born in 1975. So on
the moment I started on this version of this FAQ I was 31 years old.
M: Fsdasdadasf afsdfasd afdfsaf
A: Whatever you say I don't understand it. If you mail me, please only do
so in either English or Dutch or if you really need in German.
(Be perpared that if you speak German to me, you might get an answer in
English, tough).
I don't speak any other language.
M: May I translate your FAQ into another language?
A: If you ask my permission, mostly no problem
M: Why is Neoseeker banned from hosting your FAQs?
A: That's something between me and Neoseeker. I don't find it necesary to
go into detail about that. I noted it in my FAQs to make sure they
will never pop up there unnoticed. So don't mail me about it
cause I won't answer. I got very good reasons for it. That's all you
need to know.
And so far this FAQ. I hope you have good use for it!
(c) Copyright 2007, JBC-Soft, Jeroen Broks (Tricky)
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